I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize