I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I touched a dick in church today
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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