thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
