Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
