i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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