Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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