The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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