I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
