i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
