Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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