i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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