we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He did a backflip because drugs
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
