he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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