Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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