OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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