would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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