a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
