I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
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It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
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I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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