So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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