Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
