Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
