i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
