cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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