You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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