Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
