You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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