You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
