you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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