Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW