Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.