my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood