Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.