i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
