I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
