I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
