ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
