if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
