Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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