I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
