I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
