At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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