if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
