the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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