Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
