You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
