You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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