my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
