She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
