i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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