Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
