I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
