There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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