Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
