My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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