I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
