Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
