he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
