You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
