so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
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