He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
the liver wants what the liver wants
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Randomize
