I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
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Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
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Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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